Why Jay-Z is not Illuminati

I was having breakfast with my students this morning when one of them started singing a Drake song. I asked her if she was a fan of Drake and she responded that Drake was okay, but she doesn't really like him because he is part of the Illuminati. The charge that rappers are part of the Illuminati is a baffling one to me. If there were such a society, why would they choose people like Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye, Rhianna and Willow as members of their organization.

Here are my main reasons for thinking they wouldn't. First, the Illuminati is supposed to be a secret society. Now, there seem to be two kinds of secret societies. There are those like the Masons and the Black Greek Letter Organizations whose membership is public knowledge though the practices and rituals are not. It's easy to find out that Langston Hughes was a member of the Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc., but it is not easy to find out what Hughes had to do, say or believe in order to become a member of this society or what his duties were. The second kind of secret society is one in which the beliefs, practices, rituals and membership are private. An example of this kind of society is found in the works of Dan Brown. According to Brown, Leonardo Da Vinci was a member of the Priory of Sion whose mission was to protect the secret of the Holy Grail. This was done though symbols, ritual, etc. No one knew that Da Vinci was part of such a group nor did people know what this group was supposed to do. (I suppose there is a third possibility. There could be a secret society where the members are secret, but the rituals, etc. are public. This just seems weird.)

It is my understanding that the Illuminati is supposed to be in the second category. While many believe the Illuminati to be comprised of the world's powerful and wealthy, no one is supposed to know who the actual members are or what they do. Now, Jay-Z is definitely not being secretive about his association with this organization. If the "all-seeing-eye" is supposed to be a secret symbol of the Illuminati, then Jay-Z might as well do a 60 Minutes confessional right now. He would be the only member of this organization to brand the symbol and sell it! If I were a member of the Illuminati and saw Jay-Z wearing our symbol on his extra, long white tee, I'd get one of my paid goons to slip him a few extra ambiens. That's playing too close to the line for the safety of the organization.

Second, if there is an Illuminati, I can't see them allowing Jay-Z to be in charge of new recruits. I would want someone who is going to recruit not only people of power, but also people who will keep the organization's existence a secret. So far, Jay-Z hasn't chosen very good people. Willow is nine years old! If she is Illuminati, she's already told her little friends at her last sleepover! (Of course, her parents have to be Illuminati too so they probably stop her from spilling the beans.)

But maybe Jay-Z isn't in charge. Maybe President Obama is in charge and he recruited Jay-Z. Pres. Obama is definitely influential and wealthy. He looks like he can keep a secret. If so, then Obama is not as astute as he appears to be because he has allowed Drake et al. to be members thereby threatening to expose the existence of the organization.

Or maybe the Illuminati is looking to transition from the second kind of secret society to the first kind. Maybe they are tired of living in the shadows with their super lame parties. Who wants to hear orchestras play Wagner and Mozart all night? Who wants to see stuffy old ladies in sequin dresses eat cucumber sandwiches and drink Moet? Jay-Z and Co. definitely know how to get that thang crunk! Gone are the sequins. Here come the g-strings! Good-bye Das Rheingold and hello Das EFX! Let's make it rain!